TAG | Adrienne Boardman
My daughter Adrienne passed away on October 1st 2009. She was 22 years old.
She fought cancer for the last 13 years of her life, and she never let it stand in her way. I am so proud of Adrienne and everything she achieved in her short life. But we are heartbroken that she is gone and we miss her dearly …
Click here to view a short Tribute to Adrienne and her life.
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Adrienne Leigh Boardman August 18th 1987 – October 1st 2009
Adrienne was diagnosed with Stage IIIB Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in December 1996, just a few months after her ninth birthday. [click here for detailed history]
When Adrienne was old enough to ask real questions about her illness (in her early teens I think), we had a “why me” conversation. She really wanted to talk about her illness and how she thought it was some kind of retribution for something that she had done (like not being nice to her younger brother). It was a teary conversation for the both of us, but I still remember the essence of what I said to her. It went something like this:
“Adrienne, you have done nothing to deserve this disease. It just happened. Yes, by all means be a little nicer to your brother and not just because you feel guilty. He cares for you more than you realize.
Your disease is a complicated one and right now there is no magic bullet. All we can do is to keep trying different things and hope that we can control it long enough that a cure will eventually come along. The longer you keep going the higher the probability that the doctors and scientists will invent something that will cure this disease forever. …But, you should also know that your mother and Curt, Christina and I will do everything we possibly can to keep you alive and well in the meantime.”
She seemed to live the rest of her life based on that single conversation. Patiently waiting for a cure whilst living her life as fully as she could. She was so confident that a cure was just around the corner that she was always ready to try the next trial or the next drug.
Tragically on October 1st, 2009 after 13 years of trying to beat the disease she ran out of time and her fight came to an end. We never cured her cancer (even though Hodgkin’s Lymphoma is one of the more treatable cancers), but I know that sometime in the future there will be an answer to all forms of cancer and those who perish from it.
Having watched Adrienne spend more than half her life in this long battle, this is the best analogy I can think of to describe what she went through:
Fighting long-term cancer is like an endless marathon race that you don’t necessarily want to be in. It takes a huge amount of energy and determination to keep going, and sometimes you just want to give up and take a rest. However if you stop and take a break, the cancer gains on you, passes you, and then swallows you up. So you have to keep going, no matter what. You can never give up!
Sometimes you can run like the wind and sometimes you are dragging your feet looking for help and inspiration.
Sometimes somebody or something on the sidelines gives you hope and energy, enough that you can get moving again.
Sometimes you can see the finish line ahead and you look forward to finishing the race. Sometimes the cancer moves the finish line away from you and you are truly disappointed.
Sometimes you cross the finish line and a few months later you have to start all over again.
But the one thing you have to remember is that it’s not just about winning the race and beating the cancer.
… It’s also about the journey and experiencing every bit of life that you can along the way.
And that is the probably one of the most important lessons I learned from Adrienne as she “ran her race”. To make sure that every moment counts and to not let any disease ruin what life you have left.
In Adrienne’s own words:
“Though I’ve now had cancer for most of my life, I no longer plan my life around it. Instead I try to plan cancer around my life.”
My daughter (our daughter), ran the race of a lifetime. She couldn’t have done it any better than she did and even in the last few months of her life she was (reluctantly) ready to fight again. I can honestly say that she squeezed as much out of her short life as she possibly could. She lived in the moment with big plans for the future.
Adrienne, please rest peacefully knowing that you did your best. You tried harder to live than just about anybody else I have ever known. You showed us incredible courage and determination.
Love Dad.